I'M STRONG AND GOOD
Hi guys,
it has been a while since the last time i wrote here, but now i'm back.
Still no makeup review but another story of my life.
At the previous post i've told you guys that i have a son.
He is 4 now and has a very very very critical thinking (at least for his age). I'm thankful that he is healthy, handsome, and smart (way too smart, actually).
Okay, here the story goes,
Few months ago, when my mom and my brother went out to somewhere, i was left at home with my son.
We went out the house because he asked to go out. We played at the terrace and laughed out loud.
I remember perfectly, a boy came in front of our house and watched us played.
This little boy was a neighbour. He came with his bicycle and my son asked me "Mommy, can i play with him?" and i said yes. They played.
At the end, this boy said goodbye to my son, but something shocked me. He asked to my son "where's your dad?"
My son said "daddy's not here." See, smart little boy of mine.
We went to our room and he started to draw something and he asked me,
My son : "Mommy could you please draw you and me, grandpa and grandma, and of course uncle on this paper?"
Me : "sure, honey. let's sit down"
After i gave him the drawing he took a look at it and said again "Mommy, could you please draw daddy as well?"
I drew it. He looked happy.
Long story short,
Do you guys remember the "unbelieveable amazing" man i've told you about?
Last night, we were texting and he sent me one of his picture. I miss him so bad. It has been 2 months (almost 3) since the first time we met and i still remember him perfectly (i just can't believe that i have those butterflies in my stomach until now). YES, I fall for him. HARD. Just thinking about him will give me another butterflies (Though i'm not sure whether he feels the same or not).
Then, here lies the sadness...
My son : "Mommy, is that daddy?" (pointing at the picture on my phone with excitement)
Me : (confused) "what? no, baby. he is not."
My son : "Then who is he?" (i heard a sad tone because i said no)
Me : "he is...." (i was so f*cking confused to answer this question and i blushed)
My son : "Mommy, why daddy never calls us like grandpa does?" (he means all the video calls my dad usually does with my mom)
Me : "Honey, daddy is busy with his work, so he can't do the calls like grandpa does, okay?"
My son : "Mommy, does daddy love us?"
Damn it!! I feel the sadness in his tone.
Guys, believe me, i was sad and confused. More like, i don't have any idea about what to do or what to say. For the first time in my life, i can't give the best answer he deserves.
My son : "Mommy.."
Me : "yes, honey?"
My son : "can i have a daddy?"
Me : "sure, honey. You will."
He fell asleep after that. I WAS BROKEN.
I lied to him. A BIG FAT LIAR i was.
I just can't tell him that his daddy left when he was baby. I don't have the heart to say that. Worse, i can't lie to him about the condition. Sooner or later, he will ask me again about his daddy and still i won't have the right answer to give him (help me!!!).
I cried when i wrote this post. I cried because i couldn't believe myself that i have walked this far without my ex (i believe KARMA does exist).
Moses, if oneday you read this post,
No matter what answer mommy gives you,
No matter how hard the condition will be,
No matter you are going to have a daddy or not,
No matter what happen next,
Mommy loves you.
Mommy swears
To keep you safe,
To struggle for our lives,
To find the best daddy for you if you need one,
To provide all the things you ever need,
To fight for you even if it risks my own life,
To be the best mommy you ever have,
and to stand by you no matter how sucks life can be.
With love,
Mommy.
it has been a while since the last time i wrote here, but now i'm back.
Still no makeup review but another story of my life.
At the previous post i've told you guys that i have a son.
He is 4 now and has a very very very critical thinking (at least for his age). I'm thankful that he is healthy, handsome, and smart (way too smart, actually).
Okay, here the story goes,
Few months ago, when my mom and my brother went out to somewhere, i was left at home with my son.
We went out the house because he asked to go out. We played at the terrace and laughed out loud.
I remember perfectly, a boy came in front of our house and watched us played.
This little boy was a neighbour. He came with his bicycle and my son asked me "Mommy, can i play with him?" and i said yes. They played.
At the end, this boy said goodbye to my son, but something shocked me. He asked to my son "where's your dad?"
My son said "daddy's not here." See, smart little boy of mine.
We went to our room and he started to draw something and he asked me,
My son : "Mommy could you please draw you and me, grandpa and grandma, and of course uncle on this paper?"
Me : "sure, honey. let's sit down"
After i gave him the drawing he took a look at it and said again "Mommy, could you please draw daddy as well?"
I drew it. He looked happy.
Long story short,
Do you guys remember the "unbelieveable amazing" man i've told you about?
Last night, we were texting and he sent me one of his picture. I miss him so bad. It has been 2 months (almost 3) since the first time we met and i still remember him perfectly (i just can't believe that i have those butterflies in my stomach until now). YES, I fall for him. HARD. Just thinking about him will give me another butterflies (Though i'm not sure whether he feels the same or not).
Then, here lies the sadness...
My son : "Mommy, is that daddy?" (pointing at the picture on my phone with excitement)
Me : (confused) "what? no, baby. he is not."
My son : "Then who is he?" (i heard a sad tone because i said no)
Me : "he is...." (i was so f*cking confused to answer this question and i blushed)
My son : "Mommy, why daddy never calls us like grandpa does?" (he means all the video calls my dad usually does with my mom)
Me : "Honey, daddy is busy with his work, so he can't do the calls like grandpa does, okay?"
My son : "Mommy, does daddy love us?"
Damn it!! I feel the sadness in his tone.
Guys, believe me, i was sad and confused. More like, i don't have any idea about what to do or what to say. For the first time in my life, i can't give the best answer he deserves.
My son : "Mommy.."
Me : "yes, honey?"
My son : "can i have a daddy?"
Me : "sure, honey. You will."
He fell asleep after that. I WAS BROKEN.
I lied to him. A BIG FAT LIAR i was.
I just can't tell him that his daddy left when he was baby. I don't have the heart to say that. Worse, i can't lie to him about the condition. Sooner or later, he will ask me again about his daddy and still i won't have the right answer to give him (help me!!!).
Moses, if oneday you read this post,
No matter what answer mommy gives you,
No matter how hard the condition will be,
No matter you are going to have a daddy or not,
No matter what happen next,
Mommy loves you.
Mommy swears
To keep you safe,
To struggle for our lives,
To find the best daddy for you if you need one,
To provide all the things you ever need,
To fight for you even if it risks my own life,
To be the best mommy you ever have,
and to stand by you no matter how sucks life can be.
With love,
Mommy.
